Sunday, April 25, 2010

AND let's try this again

I apologize for not posting this sooner - I had kind of a crappy week. Nothing major happened - I just got sick again for about the 20th time this year and have spent the last week blowing my nose and trying to get SOME sleep.

So update from last week - I had a good weigh-in last Monday - down 1.2lbs - which is not as much as I had hoped for but certainly encouraging none the less. Here's the downer - because I have been sick all week I have a feeling that all of that progress is going to be lost this week. I got sick on Tuesday and am only now starting to get back to normal (although I'm still coughing and blowing my nose all the time at least I can breathe and sleep again!). I've mentioned before and I'll say it again - when I am sick, whatever willpower I have mustered up over the preceding weeks/months DISAPPEARS! When I feel like crap, all I want to do is lay in bed. When I do eat, I certainly don't feel like making myself something health (which I know would probably HELP me get better faster). In fact, I don't feel like making much of ANYTHING, which means I turn to the pre-packaged and canned crap in the house or to take-out. And trust me, when I feel sick there is NO WAY I am picking a salad over fries in the drive-through. But hey, at least I RECOGNIZE this about myself - I know it's definitely something that I really need to work on. So anyway, my diet this week has basically been whatever is fast and easy - which tends to be the less healthy choices - and I think it goes without saying that my gym attendance this week was a big fat 0. I have a hard enough time keeping my butt on the treadmill when I actually can breathe through my nose, if I tried to do it with a cold I'd probably pass out! Speaking of which, I'm off to bed - have to get up for work tomorrow morning and then face what is inevitably going to be a disappointing weigh-in tomorrow evening. BUT I have a plan at least - and it's the usual one - get back into tracking and eating what I should (because that seemed to have been working quite well before, imagine that?!) and get back into my gym routine. That's the plan and hopefully I can get rid of the last lingering cold symptoms soon. Wish me luck!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Same ol' Same ol'

Well sadly I don't have a lot to report today - nothing much has really happened since my last post. I made it to the gym today, but I only got about half way through my run interval thing. I just couldn't push myself through the whole thing I was soooo tired! BUT I didn't quit entirely, I just stopped the running intervals and did the speed walking for the rest of the time. AND I walked to and from the gym so that should count for something. I've still managed to do pretty well in the food area too - kept tracking all week and still have some of my weekly 35 to get me through tonight and tomorrow. Weigh-in should be interesting - I have a feeling I might come away slightly disappointed. I definitely think I will have lost weight, but considering how well I've done with food this week and the fact that I made it to the gym 3 times, I FEEL like I should have lost at least 5lbs!! I know that's not going to happen but it would definitely be nice to see a loss of at least 1 lb. We'll see I guess!

Oh yeah, I remember what I was going to talk about now. So yesterday I headed out to the mall for a little shopping - I didn't really NEED anything but I just felt like getting out of the house and doing something so off I went! As with a lot of fat girls, I used to HATE shopping. I found it so depressing going to the mall and knowing that 85% of the stores wouldn't have anything in my size (and of the 15% of stores left, at least half were shoe stores). While I still have a long way to go in my weight loss journey, I have managed to lose around 25lbs so far, which has made shopping a much more enjoyable experience. Like I said, I still have a long way to go and I'm sure once I get down to my goal weight I'm going to develop a seriously bad shopping problem, but at least now I don't leave the mall wanting to kill myself. Here's one thing that I still DO hate about shopping - trying to find tops. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I am large chested - I currently squeeze myself into a 38DD, however I'm sure if I were to get properly fitted for a bra I might actually be a larger size. Even though I am definitely still on the chunky side, I actually have gotten a lot smaller than I used to be (obviously). However, my BOOBS haven't. That makes shopping for tops really frustrating, because while the rest of my top half could probably wear a medium to large (depending on the store), my boobs force me to go to at least an XL, and even that isn't big enough some times. I very rarely am able to buy a blouse that I can actually do up, because I end up with that oh so attractive gap at the bust that shows the world my bra. Oh yeah, and SPEAKING of bras - trying to buy those is really fun too. All the great lingerie stores in the mall that sell all those pretty bras and panties of COURSE don't carry my size - or if they do, it isn't REALLY my size, it's some crazy joke they like to play with us big boobed girls, get us in the change room and then laugh as we try and squeeze ourselves into a B cup they've decided to LABEL as DD.

Anyway, despite my ranting, I actually did have a good time at the mall yesterday. Shopping is becoming more and more fun. It is definitely a good motivator. I can't wait until I've lost enough weight to really enjoy shopping. I think once I reach my goal weight I am going to treat myself to a shopping spree.

That's it for today really - I'll let you know how tomorrow goes.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

So far, so good!

So first of all, I wanted to thank you guys for your running tips. I've actually made it to the gym 2 nights in a row now and I took a lot of your advice. I have to admit, I'm still a little sore - but I'm pretty sure that it's because of how horribly out of shape I am - and it's NOTHING compared to that first night. Now I have another "fitness" type question for you. For those of you larger chested girls out there (like me) WHERE do you find a good sports bra? It's so frustrating!! I've tried a bunch of different brands and either they are so uncomfortable that I can't stand wearing them longer than 5 minutes, or they aren't any more supportive than my NORMAL bras! Any help here would be greatly appreciated!

Anyway, on to the food! I'm actually quite surprised at how well this week is going. Don't get me wrong, it's (I'm) certainly not perfect, but so far, so good! I was a little concerned after Tuesday's lunch but I'm actually managing to stay pretty well on track! See some of you already know that Mondays is my weigh-in at Weight Watchers, which means that Tuesday is the first day of my "WW" week. Tuesday is the day I start with a fresh 35 weekly points to spend along with my 25 daily points. Well Tuesday I went out for lunch with a co-worker and I had the whole thing planned. I knew where we were going and what I would order before we even got there! THEN my co-worker opened the menu and spotted a picture of the garlic cheese bread. She commented on how good it looked and said that we just HAD to try it, and she was so excited about it I just couldn't say "sorry, I'm not eating that!". PLUS, at first I thought she might just be saying it and not really planning on ordering it. But then when the waitress came over to take our drink order, she actually DID order it - and since it was just the two of us it's not like I could really NOT eat some once it came! My weight watchers leader always says that we are in control over what we put in our mouths no matter what anyone says - it is always OUR choice what we eat, even if we don't think it is. While I completely agree with that (it WAS my choice to eat that garlic bread), there are some situations that just make it extremely difficult to avoid eating something you never would have picked yourself.

While we are on the subject of restaurants, I would just like to say that in this day and age, with all the health crazes going on, I find it extremely disappointing that some chain restaurants still don't think it's necessary to make nutritional information available to the public. Now I'm not talking about the corner diner that's a one of a kind, and I'm not even suggesting that chains put the nutritional info on the menu - but if the menu is available on the company's web site - the nutritional information should too! I mentioned that as soon as I knew where we were going for lunch, I knew what I would order - this is definitely true (I ordered off the 'lighter side' menu), it makes it really difficult to count points for something when you have NO IDEA what the nutritional information is. Even though I did order from the lighter side menu, with a typical restaurant meal anywhere from 500-1500 calories - "lighter" could mean almost ANYTHING. Well I guess that's my little rant for the night.

So other than that rogue lunch I've pretty much stayed within the points I should be. I've also managed to avoid those dreaded cookies! I've gone to Subway the last 2 nights after the gym and while I haven't ordered any cookies I have gotten chips instead. HEAR ME OUT!!!! I've gotten one of those small bags of Baked Lays which only run 3pts a bag (as opposed to 10pts for the two cookies!!) That's a significant difference!! This way I feel like I'm treating myself, but in a much more points friendly manner! It's still really hard for me to say no to those cookies though because I am definitely a sweet person (vs. salty). I like chips and all, but I would MUCH MUCH rather have the cookies!

Anyway, I guess that's it for tonight. Hopefully I can keep this up over the weekend and have a decent weight loss on Monday! We'll see what happens!

Monday, April 12, 2010

So despite my wishing, the completely expected happened tonight at my weigh in - I gained weight. Despite the fact that I DID manage to finally make it to the gym on Sunday it had little effect on the non-stop eating I did the REST of the week. So, for the millionth time I am vowing to get back on track this week! No more cookies! Get my ass to the gym!! STOP EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT! We'll see how it goes.

Speaking of the gym, I was just curious - do those of you who go to the gym regularly have specific machines that you like to use? I do. Here's the deal - the gym that I go to has a women's only section and a co-ed section. While I have no problem using the co-ed section (self-esteem wise), I don't particularly LIKE using it because I find it really loud. With all the machines it is so loud that even with my iPod at full I still can't hear it all that well. Not to mention the fact that the area where the classes are held is in the mezzanine area right above the cardio machines and it has OPEN WINDOWS (i.e. no glass) - so when there is a class going on (which seems to be every time I'm there), the music also blares out of that area and makes it even louder. To make a long story short, I prefer the women's section. Here's the thing though, the women's only side has only 2 elliptical machines and since I have bad knees and hips I prefer the smoothness of the elliptical to the pounding of the treadmill. BUT one of the two machines doesn't work very well so I like to use the other one. Over the past few weeks, whenever I go to the gym there is always this same girl there using MY machine and she always manages to get there RIGHT before me so it's not even like I only need to wait 5 minutes for her to get off of it. Seriously, no matter WHAT day of the week or time of day I go she is there, on MY machine! It's starting to really get on my nerves!

So I go to the gym on Sunday (finally!) and guess what, SHE'S ON MY MACHINE!! I decided to just suck it up and use the treadmill but I didn't want to do my usual 2.8 miles per hour walk speed because it's not really a very good workout. So what did I decide to do?? Interval walking and running!! I swear I must have lost my mind because when I hopped up on that machine I thought it would be a GREAT idea to alternate between walking and running (ok, honestly it was probably a jog) every 2 minutes for half an hour. I swear by the end of it I thought I was going to DIE!!! The worst part? When I woke up this morning I could barely move!! I had NO IDEA that running could cause so much pain!!! I thought that maybe the pounding might mean I would wake up with sore knees or hips or something but when I tried to get out of bed, everything from my waist to my neck was so sore I thought I had been hit by a car! SERIOUSLY!!! How does running make my SHOULDERS hurt? Anyway, I'm thinking of trying it again next time I go - you know, test out that old no pain, no gain theory.

Any of you runners out there please share some tips with me!! What should I be doing? Am I going to kill myself doing this? Stay tuned!

Friday, April 9, 2010


So I thought I would share with you something that I thought of today that's pretty obvious, but still important to realize about myself: I eat when I'm bored - I have noticed that when I am busy I can go a lot longer without eating than when I am not so busy. Unfortunately for me I have somewhat of a boring job which means that for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week I am sitting around with little to do. What happens is that when my mind isn't kept occupied with doing stuff, all I can think about is FOOD! And if there is any food around, it's only a matter of time before I eat it, not because I'm hungry but because I just don't know what else to do. Throughout my weight-loss journey this has been one thing that I have really struggled with. I've always heard the saying that some people eat to live and some people live to eat - well I am absolutely, without question one of those people who lives to eat. I LOVE food - I think about food all the time. Literally, while I am eating breakfast I am thinking about what I'm going to have for lunch. At lunch I'm thinking about what's for dinner, etc. etc. When all you can think about is food, it's really hard not to eat. Even when I know I'm not hungry I think about all the yummy food that's sitting in the fridge/cupboard and trying my hardest not to go eat some of it. So anyway, this is something that I'm really trying to work on but it's definitely a daily struggle (actually, it's more like an HOURLY struggle1).

STILL have not managed to make it to the gym this week - fingers crossed for tomorrow. For whatever reason I just don't seem to be in the mood for it AT ALL!

Thursday, April 8, 2010


Ok so I have been a very very bad blogger and I'm really sorry!! To be perfectly honest, I don't even really know why I haven't posted in so long, I just kept forgetting, and then after a while ... I don't even know. So I will say it again, I'M SORRY!

As evidence of my complete lack of a life, even though I haven't posted in weeks I really don't have a whole lot to talk about! Last week went well, even though I stayed exactly the same at my Monday weigh-in I'm actually quite happy with that because of Easter and all. I made it to the gym 4 times, which I'm sure helped to combat the junk food and the big Easter dinner on Sunday. I have to say that I'm quite proud of how I did over the weekend. I did have a little too much to eat at dinner but overall I managed to stay away from (almost) all of the Easter candy! I've discovered that the key to controlling my sweet tooth is to buy one (possibly larger) piece of candy/chocolate instead of buying a bag/package of smaller pieces. I am completely fine with the bag as long as it stays closed. I can literally keep a bag of candy in my room for weeks without touching it. Here's the downfall - once that bag is OPEN, I have absolutely NO control over myself. No matter where I am in the house, that open bag just calls to me, and by the end of the day it's completely gone. Therefore, I have decided that if I really really have to have something I'm going to go for the single serving instead of the package. The way I see it, spending 5 pts on a chocolate bar or candy and having it be gone is better than spending 10 pts on a whole package, 2 pts at a time over the course of the day. So that is my little revelation for the week.

THIS week, however, has been a completely different story. I don't know WHAT it is, but I can't seem to stop putting (edible) things in my mouth!! My self control seems to be taking a vacation this week! It's weird because usually I know what triggers this kind of a week - emotions, stress, "women" issues, etc., but this week has been a relatively good one in terms of those things. I've had a good week, busy, but good - not a lot of stress, but I just can't seem to stop eating!! Even when I'm not hungry all I want to do is eat! Take tonight for example - I had a good dinner, very filling and even had a little treat after dinner but by 8pm all I could think of was FOOD! I wasn't the slightest bit hungry and I knew it, but by 8:45 I gave in and had some cheese and crackers. On the plus side, I could have chosen a less healthy snack, but on the negative side, it was still extra calories I didn't need to eat, especially since I wasn't hungry to begin with.

Oh yeah, I also haven't gotten to the gym at ALL this week. Between work and evening commitments I just haven't gotten there. I plan to go at least once on the weekend (hopefully twice) but unfortunately I don't think it will be enough for me to be happy with my Monday weigh in. I'm getting a little frustrated again because I was doing pretty well with my weight but the last few weeks I seem to be back in that pattern of up/down/up/down, which means I really haven't lost anything in the last month or so.

I'm going to try and get back into my routine of tracking and going to the gym because I have a very busy spring/summer coming up and I know that if I'm not back into my routine by then, I will find it really difficult and the excuses will be plentiful. So that's the plan I guess - just keep at it.

On another note, I came across this article today for an at home workout that looked kind of interesting. It doesn't take a lot of fancy equipment - which is perfect for me since I don't live alone and therefore don't really want to have to haul a bunch of stuff into the common area to work out - I can do this in my room. I printed it out for myself at work, now I just have to make myself try it. Anyway, thought I would share it!

"The Ultimate At-Home Boot Camp"