Friday, March 18, 2011

Really? AGAIN??

So it has been almost a year since my last post - I apologize for not keeping it up. To be honest, I think I gave up because I was feeling like a failure for not really making any progress. So good news/bad news (I think this probably counts as both) - I am almost the exact same weight as I was at the time of my last post. Why is this bad? Because as I said, I have not made any progress. Why is this good news? Because even though I haven't LOST any weight in the past year, I also haven't GAINED any either. If you've read some of my older posts you will know that this is an accomplishment all on it's own. Basically from puberty until I began my weight loss journey I have been GAINING weight slowly (and not so slowly) over the years, so to have gone an entire year at a relatively stable weight (even if it's not my ideal weight) is pretty great.

So back to this whole blogging thing - I'm going to try and get back into posting regularly because even if I'm not losing weight I'm still trying and it still probably helps. I know what you're thinking, Really? AGAIN? But you haven't posted in a YEAR??? I know, and I'm sorry - all I can say is I'm going to try and do better, both for myself and for anyone else still reading this blog.

This week had some highs and lows. As you may or may not know, I am on weight watchers so I have a daily points target I aim for, plus a weekly points allowance to take from as well. Another part of the program involves "tracking", which is really just keeping a food diary so you know what you're eating and how many points you have left each day. My WW week begins on Tuesdays (this is when I get a fresh batch of weekly points to draw from) and Tuesday was not a great food day. I have come to discover that when it comes to will power I am much better at not eating something AT ALL than with eating just a little bit and stopping. So Tuesday there was a meeting at work and the bosses ordered pizza - even though I had brought a lunch I foolishly decided to indulge in a slice. BAD idea, because one slice turned to 2, turned to 4. B A D!!!! Then I went out after work to do a little shopping and ate a large sub as well as a few Easter chocolates I stupidly got at the drug store. So all in all, Tuesday was a very out of control kind of day!! Definitely a low. Highs: Even with my horrible start to the week I still tracked EVERYTHING I ate, which is huge for me. The rest of the week went better and I even made it to the gym two days in a row. Today was going really well again until I came home to find a delicious Hot & Ready Pizza sitting on the counter for dinner. Here we go again with the whole will power issue. 5 slices later and here I sit confessing my sins to you. BUT I vow not to let this get me off track. In the past, a day like today (or Tuesday) would have ruined my enthusiasm and I would have given up for the rest of the week, promising to get back on track the next week. This time, I promise to get back on track TOMORROW - no more excuses.

On a completely unrelated note, I decided today that as a 30th birthday present to myself (which is in 3 years for any of you wondering) I am going to go on a tour of Italy. Italy has always been my #1 in terms of places I want to visit before I die. I've travelled a fair bit but nothing as far away as that since I was in high school. I've always loved travelling and have wanted to do more but unfortunately I don't have a significant other to travel with and my friends aren't really that reliable when it comes to making travel plans and sticking to it. I decided though that this is not going to stop me from seeing and doing the things I have always wanted to do. I am sick and tired of waiting around for someone else to come along to do things with. If going solo is the only way to see the places I want to see then that's the way I'll do it! So anyway, back to Italy. Why 3 years you ask? Well a) I thought that my 30th b-day is a perfect excuse to take a lavish trip like this, especially if it's going to be on my own. And b) as I was researching today I realized that to see all the places in Italy I want to see (because it may be the only time I get to go) it's going to cost a pretty penny. Since I am also in the midst of saving for a house and a car, I figure 3 years to save up enough cash for the trip of a lifetime should be long enough! So now I have something to look forward to and I'm actually quite excited that I've finally decided to do it. Up until now it has always been a dream of mine - something far off in the realm of possibility with no real beginning in sight. Now it feels more like a goal, something to work towards with a tangible feel to it. It's something that I'm GOING to do now instead of something I WANT to do. It feels good.

So as I said at the beginning of my post, I hope to keep this up with a little more frequency and I hope that there are still a few people out there still willing to read my ramblings!!

Until the next time!

Oh yeah, please feel free to comment on any/all of my posts. I really do love hearing from people - I find it encouraging to know I'm not talking to myself!

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